Trump Book Reports

 

I'm not always writing music or lyrics or plays. I wrote a series of Trump Book Report tweets that made my friends laugh. In this election season, I'm trying to laugh so that I can run from the fear.

Here's a series of jokes using Trump's hate speech about women, immigrants, comments about race, individuals, and applying them to literature to make people laugh about a very dark and depressing time in US presidential election history. Enjoy!

King Lear. Gave all his cash to his daughters. Those nasty women get the land, they get the cash. What a loser. Sad. #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 20, 2016

Montagues? Very bad people. Gonna rape our women. We're gonna build a wall, folks, & they'll pay. Make Verona great again! #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 20, 2016

Ishmael did a great job. Didn't he do a great job? Best part was blood coming out of the whale's wherever. #mobydick #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 20, 2016

Look at that face, would anyone vote for that? I mean, Snowball's a pig & I'm not sposedta say bad things but.. #animalfarm #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 20, 2016

Think it was good, Marcel? It wasn't, it was bad, okay? I know madeleines. I make the best madeleines. Believe me. #proust #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 20, 2016

Celie is just like Ivanka. If Celie weren't Alphonso's daughter, he'd be dating her, believe me. #colorpurple #trumpbookreport #nastyone

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 20, 2016

George Orwell, why you write doesn't even matter, as long as you have a beautiful piece of ass. #whyiwrite #trumpbookreport #cantstop

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 21, 2016

Saw Macbeth. He's a good guy, great guy, I know him. What a nasty lady! Definitely all her fault! #macbeth #shakespeare #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 21, 2016

Dinosaurs are living in poverty. Their schools are no good. They have no jobs. What do they have to lose? #jurassicpark #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 21, 2016

If I were gonna ride an ass, she would not be my first choice. #blackbeauty #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 21, 2016

I'm a greyscale photographer, a phenomenal photographer. I have a great relationship with the blacks. #fiftyshadesofgrey #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 21, 2016

It's just words, Polonius. It's just words. It's just words. #hamlet #shakespeare #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 21, 2016

All this stuff she's saying about Elena Ferrante. It'd be good if we got along. But I don't know Elena Ferrante. #trumpbookreport

— emily gardner hall (@schnopple) October 22, 2016